hoseok is the kind of guy who courteously opens the door for his dates, pulls out the chair with a flourish, and pays for the bill with the quickest flick of a wrist before the other party can even chance a glimpse of the receipt.

in other words, hoseok is a gentleman.

he is mannered, he is polite, and he is nothing less than absolutely attentive to the needs of his date at any given moment.

that’s just the kind of guy he is.

a really nice guy.

but right now, at this exact point in time, even hoseok is finding it a bit difficult to consciously keep up with the letters and syllables escaping through his date’s lips in a nonstop stream of rushed words that no longer hold any real meaning to him.

hoseok had lost track of the topic of conversation way back between his date jabbering on about his previous ex and how he’d been such a slob and totally useless and somehow moving onto the topic of lab animal cruelty and he hopes hoseok doesn’t do with those big brand name facial products because 9 out of 10 it most likely was tested on animals for shame!

it hasn’t even been an hour into their date and hoseok is already struggling to prevent himself from slamming his forehead into the pristine ceramic salad plate placed before him.

‘damn you namjoon,’ hoseok internally shakes his fist at his best friend, mentally devising all kinds of sinister schemes to get back at said best friend for setting him up on this travesty of a social engagement. namjoon must have known it would drive him up a wall. that idiot totally did this on purpose.

“… and you wouldn’t believe how much paper is wasted every single day! we are killing trees! trees! we need trees to breathe and survive!” heechul slams his open hand against the table, startling the nearby elderly couple and effectively knocking over the silverware.

hoseok wishes he could melt into the carpet and never resurface, his face is burning from embarrassment.

“i was telling my roommate,” heechul continues on as if nothing had happened. and hoseok opens his mouth to snap that he doesn’t really care what heechul’s roommate had to say regarding the topic of green peace. quite frankly, hoseok doesn’t really care to hear any more of what heechul has to say regarding anything, thank you very much.

but at that moment, hoseok’s attention is otherwise diverted by an awkward cough and a large menu being placed before him.

“um, can i get you two anything to drink?” a low, smooth voice inquires.

“i’ll get a water, thanks,” heechul waves his hand nonchalantly, eyes scanning the menu. “and no lemon. ugh, who knows what kinds of toxic germs-”

“i’ll get water too,” hoseok cuts him off, glancing up apologetically at the waiter.

“okay, cool,” the waiter smiles broadly, and hoseok is finding it a bit difficult to breathe. “i’ll go get you your drinks then and give you some time to look over the menu. if you need anything, my name is taehyung. and i will be your server for the evening.”

that voice. damn.

“thanks,” hoseok’s voice trails off, gaze following after the shock of brilliant orange hair weaving through the tables and towards the back kitchen.

how does he have a voice like that, with a face like that?

hoseok falls deep in thought, questioning worldly logic and having a bit of an existential crisis when heechul’s voice breaks through his haze of chaotic thoughts.

“do you know what you’re going to order?” heechul raises a brow, staring at hoseok’s blank face over his own menu.

“um,” hoseok clears his throat, mentally shaking his head to clear his mind. he grabs his menu, flipping through the wispy paper pages and sifting through the food items listed in a foreign language he can’t quite understand.

well, duh. italian restaurant.

with an internal sigh, hoseok quietly recites eeny meeny miny moe and picks a name at random that sounds somewhat promising when a small shout and splash of cold water to his lap jolts him out of his seat.

“what the-”

a loud clatter echoes throughout the restuarant as the water glasses dance across the floor, all curious eyes zeroing in on their table to see what’s going on.

“oh crap!” that deep, silky voice melts into hoseok’s ears. and the freezing chill dripping down his slacks seems a bit less relevant.

“i’m so sorry!” the waiter, taehyung, scrabbles off the floor and whips out a hand towel to start beating hoseok about his thighs in an attempt to dry him off. the sight is a bit compromising, with regards to the proximity of the waiter’s hand and hoseok’s rather private parts.

“it’s okay,” hoseok grabs hold of taehyung’s wrists, cheeks blazing with heat. “really, i’m fine. are you okay? that was quite a fall.”

“oh my god, i’m really, really sorry,” taehyung’s voice is strained, arms squirming under hoseok’s grip to free himself and resume his drying.

“i said it’s fine,” hoseok smiles warmly, pinning taehyung’s wrists down by his body to stand straight. taehyung still looks distraught, and hoseok is about to repeat himself when heechul’s angry whisper catches both of their attentions.

“will you sit down?” heechul frowns, setting down his menu. “you’re causing a scene.”

and heechul is right. nearly half the restuarant is staring in their direction.

with a huff, hoseok plops back down on his seat. his nose wrinkles from the discomfort of squelchy fabric against his skin. but he quickly rearranges his features when he catches sight of taehyung anxiously throttling his hand towel, twisting the poor thing into a pretzel.

“well, i’m ready to order,” heechul shrugs, staring up at taehyung with an almost bored expression.

“oh, right,” taehyung breathes, eyes still trained on hoseok and the damp fabric of his pants.

“my order?” heechul repeats, unamused.

“yeah,” taehyung finally looks away, pulling out a pen and pad from his apron pocket. “what would you like to order?”

“i’ll have the orecchiette.”

“very good,” taehyung scribbles onto his pad. “and you?” he glances back at hoseok expectantly.

“um,” hoseok quickly picks up his menu, once again scanning through the list of names he’s pretty sure he can’t even pronounce properly. “um, what is this?” he asks, jabbing a finger at random.

taehyung leans down, blinking at the menu curiously.

hoseok can feel taehyung’s warmth radiating off his skin and enveloping him like a soft blanket.

“uh,” taehyung’s mouth hands slightly ajar, head tilting in confusion. “i think… i think that might be… chicken?”

“might be chicken,” heechul snorts under his breath, rolling his eyes incredulously.

and hoseok finds himself inexplicably irritated with his date’s rudeness.

“i’ll have that,” hoseok closes the menu and hands it to taehyung with a comforting smile.

“perfect,” taehyung’s answering grin is wide, pink lips stretched over rows of perfect white teeth in an almost rectangular smile.

hoseok feels dazzled, much as if he’d been staring up at the sun for too long. and as taehyung turns away, walking back towards the kitchens to put in their orders, everything else within hoseok’s vision dims in comparison, purple sparks of residue in the shape of taehyung’s outline flashing before his eyes.

hoseok drifts through the remainder of the fiasco of a date in a stunned haze, not really sure where he’s aiming his fork or what he’s even really eating.

he pays for the check before they leave, making sure to keep the door open for heechul to walk out first.

hoseok takes a quick last glance in search of the fiery orange hair, a warm smile spreading across his cheeks when he spots taehyung off in the distance, a surprised look on his face as he switches over the plates of the couple he’s now serving.

the food was mediocre, and service was amateur at best.

but hoseok is pretty sure he’s just found his new favorite restaurant.